[Video]

[callmeryuzaki]

[Here's a familiar face, to those who have been Numbered for awhile and perhaps even those who haven't.]

Why hello. I've missed your lovely faces.

A lot of you know me already, but I'm Lazarus Lawliet. The real one. That's me.

I'm looking to compile a useful database of relevant information on all of us, something that we can share freely and without outmoded hangups or hesitation. Let's be progressive about it.

If you send me your name, a photograph or other still image from the front and the side, your age, your profession, and your credit card information, I'll repay you by writing you a personalized piece of short fiction, starring you, in the wildly popular theme of dinosaur erotica. You pick the dinosaur, and I'll make the magic happen without shame or fear.

Your dark desires are very interesting to me. Especially yours, C.S. You know who you are.

Comments

video;

[alilyinthemoonslight]

[...oh, they do not need this.]

You seriously don't think you're fooling anyone, do you?

video;

[callmeryuzaki]

[Give him a second. He has to think about this.]

...yes?

video;

[oncedevil]

You're still alive?

[He couldn't sound any more disappointed.]

video;

[callmeryuzaki]

How awful. Talking to your best friend Lazarus that way, who's sacrificed and martyred so much for you. The least you could do is pay him some goddamned respect.

[Video]

[charcoalfeather]

D-dino.... erotica....

[She can hardly believe her ears.]

L-like that stuff on amazon?!

[Video]

[callmeryuzaki]

Dinosaurs that lived in the Amazon...

[Quick info search]

Amazonsaurus maranhensis, like a Diplodocus? Oh, kinky. I like it.

Voice

[solvethepuzzle]

[There are so many things that Nathan finds wrong with all of this.]

... Was this necessary?

Video

[callmeryuzaki]

The best things in life aren't what I'd call "necessary".

But hearing about it all from this mouth, in this face, would make you so uncomfortable. I just know it would.

text

[protecttheweak]

[Are there people really so foolish as to fall for something like this?]

aAnd just how much do you intend to charge for your fiction? It would have to be quite the piece of literature to require payment via credit after all.

Perhaps you should provide us with a sample of your work first.

Video

[callmeryuzaki]

[Squinting]

Well it depends on the commission.

I'll need some specifics before I can provide a sample, or else I'm just going to have to write it starring one of my former lovers.

[Video]

[scarlet_devil]

[Well, if she turns up, Emi will quietly tell Celine that this is a double. She has only one word to say to this guy.]

No.

[Video]

[callmeryuzaki]

Please?

[Audio]

[prismaticdestruction]

...I don't think you are telling the truth.

[THANK YOU CAPTAIN OBVIOUS.]

[Private Audio]

[scarlet_devil]

Dani, I don't want you talking to this guy.

[Audio]

[callmeryuzaki]

Whaaaat? Are you calling me a liar? That's not very nice at all.

Private: Typed Text

[evowhisperer]

Please do not feature me in your work.

[Video] [Private]

[callmeryuzaki]

There's the man this was all for.

Why don't we discuss it in person, over way too much to drink? I know at least one of those options appeals to you.

[dictator_ko]

Oh, it's you. The gross one.

[Video]

[callmeryuzaki]

If you want to get really technical about it, I'm from Germany. Gross means something really different over there.

Didn't I tell you I don't like children?

[sparklingscarlet]

[Blaise stares for a moment, rather impressed by what this guy is doing. As his first official visit to the Network, he looks something of a lost puppy. And this gets to be the first thing he sees on it.]

Huh? But... why dinosaurs? I definitely wouldn't want to touch one of the things I had to run away from recently. I mean, I could fantasize about a million other things, but not dinosaurs. I mean, the things would be big enough to rip someone to pieces. And then that would be a mess. And the meat-eating ones would just be terrifying. Who wants that near their behind? I mean, dinosaurs are cool, but not in a romantic way.

[Annnd... there he goes, babbling a mile a minute.]

Video

[callmeryuzaki]

[Oh, God. Lazarus' doppelganger is looking at this kid like he is a meal. A little, pink, tender piglet just waiting to get turned into a heap of steaming bacon just for him.]

A million other things, you say? Keep saying.

[Video]

[twobirdsonestone]

[It's not soon after a certain winged girl makes her exit, that another very similar one appears. Her expression can only be called "stunned irritation."]

What. The actual fuck.

[Video]

[callmeryuzaki]

Oh good, you actually talk dirty.

[Voice]

[devils_shadow]

[Though the drawl's a little colder and more aloof, it'd be impossible to mistake this particular voice.]

I'm impressed.

In light of all the tragedy that has befallen this world, you all still manage to jump at each other's throats at the slightest provocation. Clearly the bonds formed in war aren't nearly as tight-knit as stories would have us believe.

[But this was a hilarious show, he kind of still hates you fellow doppelganger but at least you're entertaining.]

[Voice]

[callmeryuzaki]

We work so well together. I'm glad to hear your voice again after all this time, even if you did attempt to deliver me to death's door.

[Voice] : Private

[willdareanything]

[There's a brand new Number appearing here, one that very few of the network's users have seen as of yet. One that belongs to somebody who's been watching the chaos this poster has managed to wreak with a few words and some poorly written "erotica."]

Tell, was all... this what you set out to do when you made this post?

[The voice is clearly male but... altered somehow, unrecognizable. Like it's been fed through some kind of voice altering software before making it to the network.]

[Voice] : Private

[callmeryuzaki]

[Soft snickering.]

Actually, I was trying to make friends and influence people. It just got away from me~