[Video]

[callmeryuzaki]

[Here's a familiar face, to those who have been Numbered for awhile and perhaps even those who haven't.]

Why hello. I've missed your lovely faces.

A lot of you know me already, but I'm Lazarus Lawliet. The real one. That's me.

I'm looking to compile a useful database of relevant information on all of us, something that we can share freely and without outmoded hangups or hesitation. Let's be progressive about it.

If you send me your name, a photograph or other still image from the front and the side, your age, your profession, and your credit card information, I'll repay you by writing you a personalized piece of short fiction, starring you, in the wildly popular theme of dinosaur erotica. You pick the dinosaur, and I'll make the magic happen without shame or fear.

Your dark desires are very interesting to me. Especially yours, C.S. You know who you are.

Comments

video

[callmeryuzaki]

He's right. I think he needs you to pick up something heavy for him.

video

[oncedevil]

[There's a low hiss, like air being let out of an oxygen tank. But he's not denying it either.]

video

[callmeryuzaki]

Go on, fetch, boy!

video

[oncedevil]

I can't decide if you're really ballsy, or just goddamned stupid.

video

[callmeryuzaki]

Speaking of balls, is there one that I can throw to get you to play with me?

I can teach you so many tricks.

video

[oncedevil]

Sorry, I've got someone more fun in my corner.

But I'll play with you anyway. Can't promise you're gonna like it though.

video

[callmeryuzaki]

I like it rough, but I give as good as I get.

video

[oncedevil]

I think you're misunderstanding the part where I intend to kill you.

But since you're playing so nicely, I might even make it quick.

video

[callmeryuzaki]

Quick? Aw, that's no fun.

video

[oncedevil]

Well if you insist, I can always change my mind.

[Tony you need to stop.]

video

[callmeryuzaki]

Aww. You know, maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think that your keeper will let you come. Take that any way you like.

video

[oncedevil]

I'm nobody's pet, and I damn well can do what I want.

[Someone is feeling a little caged these days.]

video

[callmeryuzaki]

Sure you can. Just listen to how loud that bark is!

video

[oncedevil]

Anyone with half a brain would be hoping I do decide to listen to him. But don't worry, I'll make some time for you.

video

[callmeryuzaki]

It's cute that you think you're in control of your own life. If you come over soon I might even give you a belly rub.

Or I could write you a story, but I'm having a hard time coming up with dinosaurs that drank blood.

video

[oncedevil]

Fuck you. Not a damn thing keeping me here but myself, you got it?

I'm sure you can come up with something, with how creative you claim you are.

video

[callmeryuzaki]

I would fuck you, but you're not letting me~

Are you so anxious to get your little heart broken?

video

[oncedevil]

I'd rather not catch syphilis, thanks.

I think you're vastly overestimating how affected I'm going to be by dinosaur porn.

video

[callmeryuzaki]

Big strong workhorse, I mean demon, like you? Nonsense.

People who haven't had sex for a long time get pretty hot and bothered. I think you're overestimating something else.

video

[oncedevil]

Don't tell me you're into pony play too.

I think you're high but that's really a pretty safe bet knowing you.

video

[callmeryuzaki]

What other bets would you like to make? I'm a gambling man. I'll roll the dice all day on fate.

video

[oncedevil]

Dude, I don't even give a shit right now.

video

[callmeryuzaki]

Don't worry, that's a common side effect of being massively butthurt.

"Look! I'm Tony! See how much I don't care despite having been furious just a second ago!" Real convincing.

video

[oncedevil]

Do you just exist to be annoying or what?

video

[callmeryuzaki]

On what planet is offering to hand out orgasms like candy annoying? You're just a prude.