[Video]

[callmeryuzaki]

[Here's a familiar face, to those who have been Numbered for awhile and perhaps even those who haven't.]

Why hello. I've missed your lovely faces.

A lot of you know me already, but I'm Lazarus Lawliet. The real one. That's me.

I'm looking to compile a useful database of relevant information on all of us, something that we can share freely and without outmoded hangups or hesitation. Let's be progressive about it.

If you send me your name, a photograph or other still image from the front and the side, your age, your profession, and your credit card information, I'll repay you by writing you a personalized piece of short fiction, starring you, in the wildly popular theme of dinosaur erotica. You pick the dinosaur, and I'll make the magic happen without shame or fear.

Your dark desires are very interesting to me. Especially yours, C.S. You know who you are.

Comments

[Voice]

[devils_shadow]

A vain attempt at making up for your gross deficiencies, and rather disappointingly fragile frame.

[Voice]

[callmeryuzaki]

It's sturdier than it looks, you know.

[Voice]

[devils_shadow]

Not by much, or did you forget how easily I shattered you?

[Voice]

[callmeryuzaki]

Mm, I've gained almost 30 pounds since then. Nearly up to 140 on a 5'10" frame. Mostly muscle.

Getting dealt a bad hand doesn't mean you can't play it however you'd like.

[Voice]

[devils_shadow]

Are you trying to impress me?

[Because it's really not working. He could still break you in half like the twig that you are, Ryuzaki.]

Or is this an invitation to test how quickly I can fell you again?

[Voice]

[callmeryuzaki]

Why? Are you impressed?

If you just want to beat me up, not so much. If you're looking for another way to test my endurance, though... well, maybe we could talk.

[Voice]

[devils_shadow]

Please.

[You can hear that eyeroll, can't you?]

What have I told you about being vulgar?

[Voice]

[callmeryuzaki]

If you want me to retain memories, you shouldn't hit me.

[Voice]

[devils_shadow]

If you don't want me to hit you, retain the lessons I say before you force me to teach.

[Voice]

[callmeryuzaki]

That's a ridiculous and illogical demand.

[Voice]

[devils_shadow]

It isn't. You're simply lazy. Let's fix that, shall we?

[Voice]

[callmeryuzaki]

Maybe I know I'm lazy, and have no problem with that part of my character.

[Voice]

[devils_shadow]

That is no excuse for your failure to remember very simple instructions.

I am certain you will remember more lessons, however.

[Voice]

[callmeryuzaki]

You wanna teach me, do ya...?

[Voice]

[devils_shadow]

I will throw you off of a building and see how high you bounce.

[Voice]

[callmeryuzaki]

You wanna get high? Fuck, you should've said so.

[Voice]

[devils_shadow]

[For the love of...

No. He's not going to get angry. Oh no. He's going to let Ryuzaki lay his own trap.

For anyone with half a brain the sudden tone change to something sinister and icy might be warning that proceeding would be really, really stupid.]

Sure. That's what we'll call it.

[When he's breaking all of your bones.]

[Voice]

[callmeryuzaki]

Call it what it is, and I'll happily hook you up. I can't believe some idiots think that drugs are hard to find these days

[Voice]

[devils_shadow]

Now now, don't ruin the secret. Business is good because of that.

[Voice]

[callmeryuzaki]

Business~? What business?

[Voice]

[devils_shadow]

Opium.

[Voice]

[callmeryuzaki]

Maybe we've done business.

[Voice]

[devils_shadow]

I don't deal with the selling end of it.

[Can you imagine him running customer service?]

[Voice]

[callmeryuzaki]

That would have been way better if you'd said you didn't deal with the dealing end of it.

[Voice]

[devils_shadow]

It was too obvious.