raisetheearth | [Video]

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[Here's a familiar face, to those who have been Numbered for awhile and perhaps even those who haven't.]

Why hello. I've missed your lovely faces.

A lot of you know me already, but I'm Lazarus Lawliet. The real one. That's me.

I'm looking to compile a useful database of relevant information on all of us, something that we can share freely and without outmoded hangups or hesitation. Let's be progressive about it.

If you send me your name, a photograph or other still image from the front and the side, your age, your profession, and your credit card information, I'll repay you by writing you a personalized piece of short fiction, starring you, in the wildly popular theme of dinosaur erotica. You pick the dinosaur, and I'll make the magic happen without shame or fear.

Your dark desires are very interesting to me. Especially yours, C.S. You know who you are.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That's a ridiculous and illogical demand.

It isn't. You're simply lazy. Let's fix that, shall we?

Maybe I know I'm lazy, and have no problem with that part of my character.

That is no excuse for your failure to remember very simple instructions.

I am certain you will remember more lessons, however.

You wanna teach me, do ya...?

I will throw you off of a building and see how high you bounce.

You wanna get high? Fuck, you should've said so.

[For the love of...

No. He's not going to get angry. Oh no. He's going to let Ryuzaki lay his own trap.

For anyone with half a brain the sudden tone change to something sinister and icy might be warning that proceeding would be really, really stupid.]

Sure. That's what we'll call it.

[When he's breaking all of your bones.]