raisetheearth | [Video]

"Garth Brooks - The Thunder Rolls (With Lyrics And Pics)" (Watch on YouTube)

[He appears onscreen wearing a paramedic's uniform, identical to the one Lazarus got back from his memory echo. His surroundings are significantly less seedy than the motel he's reported from in the past; they actually look like they might be luxurious.]

For those of us in the northern hemisphere, it's fall, and that means it's a season for change. With so many people getting job offers and new and exciting opportunities, I've decided to access my generosity again and help you all out with your resumes. I'm just that nice.

Sometimes you just need a little help to figure out what your best and worst qualities are. So, let me help you out~

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Why would I have a title like the "Queen of mean" if I wasn't going to be mean in public? I have to be able to back up something like that. Kitten tennis happens in public, preferably with a group children watching.

I gave you that title, but you sort of still have to earn it. I guess kitten-tennis in front of children is a good start.

Veterinary clinics have night shifts too. What happens if some old broad sits on her inbred lapdog and breaks its leg? That's where the money is.

I think I'll be taking it regardless of what you say, I like it. I'm pretty sure I can do the title justice.

Sorry, night shifts aren't really my thing.

Well, I guess everyone needs something to aspire to.

Night shifts are all I do. Remember what I said about honest work?

I wouldn't call it an aspiration. It's more like simple fact.

And that works for you, I do what works for me. It's that simple. I do recall something about that, but I don't remember really caring.

That's the best way to achieve, live like it's already true!

So what do you do with your nights? Do you sleep or raise hell?

Why don't you throw out a couple more guesses?

I'm sure you can come up with something more interesting than the truth.

Of course I can. I'm highly creative and intelligent.

I guess you can't say the same, huh?

And there goes the entertainment value of this conversation. You just had to ruin it, didn't you?

Aw~ I didn't take you for someone who would be so sensitive.

I'd say more bored than sensitive, but you're free to think what you like.

What? No, that's impossible. I don't bore people.

And yet here I am, bored.

Looks like you're losing your touch.

My touch is another matter entirely and I can't tell you more about it unless I know what your birthday is. Sorry, doll.

Edited 2015-10-06 22:14 (UTC)

How truly unfortunate, I don't know how I'll go on.

Edited 2015-10-06 22:24 (UTC)

Don't worry, your eighteenth birthday will be here before you know it and then someone will make you feel worthwhile and raise that self-esteem right along with those ankles.

And one day pigs will grow wings and fly.

If they get echoes, who knows what'll happen?

Feel free to call me out on the day that happens, I doubt I'll care though.

What do you care about? There has to be something. If there wasn't, you'd have gotten bored of this life by now.

Of course there is. I just don't share that information on here.

I like to keep my personal life and my life as a numbered very separate.

Your life's your life. Aren't you worried that someone will mess that up for you?

I wouldn't call it worried, it's more like I'm prepared to be pissed off at whoever happens to ruin that.

Just what happens when you get pissed off at someone? Is that really a consequence?

That would completely depend on the situation and the person.

I doubt you'd consider it a consequence, you seem to enjoy pressing peoples buttons. Just in a more bearable way than the other you.

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