[Video]

[callmeryuzaki]

"Garth Brooks - The Thunder Rolls (With Lyrics And Pics)" (Watch on YouTube)

[He appears onscreen wearing a paramedic's uniform, identical to the one Lazarus got back from his memory echo. His surroundings are significantly less seedy than the motel he's reported from in the past; they actually look like they might be luxurious.]

For those of us in the northern hemisphere, it's fall, and that means it's a season for change. With so many people getting job offers and new and exciting opportunities, I've decided to access my generosity again and help you all out with your resumes. I'm just that nice.

Sometimes you just need a little help to figure out what your best and worst qualities are. So, let me help you out~

<b>Name</b>: <b>Work Experience and Current Position</b>: <b>Greatest Strengths</b>: <b>Greatest Weaknesses</b>: <b>Preferred Method of Payment</b>: <b>Applicable/Marketable Skills</b>: <b>Goals for the Near Future</b>: <b>Long-Term Goals</b>: <b>How You Lost Your Virginity:</b> <b>Ethical Quandary: You are a doctor and you have one donor heart and two people who desperately need transplants. One is a 5-year-old little girl, the other is a single father of 4 in his late forties. Who do you give the heart to and how did you reach this decision?</b>: </textarea</b>

Comments

[charcoalfeather]

I hope you know you're a jerk.

[She only has a few designer socks and she loves them, okay? They're comfy!!]

[Video]

[callmeryuzaki]

What? A jerk? It's mean to call names. You're the one who came to me with help on your resume.

You should learn to take some constructive criticism.

[Video]

[charcoalfeather]

[Softly, to herself.] I really shouldn't have replied....

[Just... just breathe, Rakka.]

This isn't constructive! Where did hemp and rollerskating even come from?

[Video]

[callmeryuzaki]

The word "hemp" is of Germanic origin. Like me! And rollerskates were invented by John Joseph Merlin in Belgium circa 1760. You ask some surprisingly interesting questions.

[Video]

[charcoalfeather]

No... I mean....

How do they correspond with me?

[Video]

[callmeryuzaki]

Think of it like... wishful thinking on my part. Maybe if I say interesting things about you, you'll become interesting!

[Video]

[charcoalfeather]

....So you think I'm boring?

[Video]

[callmeryuzaki]

Not necessarily. I mean, I can't decide if it's you or your face.

[Video]

[charcoalfeather]

W-what's wrong with my face?

[Video]

[callmeryuzaki]

Oh, don't worry about it. It's nothing you can fix, or anything.

[Video]

[charcoalfeather]

I wouldn't fix it for you, at least.

[Video]

[callmeryuzaki]

Considering the reconstructive surgery it would take, I mean... it's sort of a moot point.

[Video]

[charcoalfeather]

You mean how much it would take to reconstruct your face?

[YEAH. SHE SAID IT.]

[Video]

[callmeryuzaki]

Is that really your comeback? I say that your face is boring and could benefit from surgery, and you essentially say "no, you?"

What are you good at, if looks and wit aren't your strong points?

[Video]

[charcoalfeather]

Well.... I'm better at contributing to society?

[Video]

[callmeryuzaki]

Hey, now. I contribute plenty, I'll have you know.

[Video]

[charcoalfeather]

Like...?

[Video]

[callmeryuzaki]

Should I start from the head, or the toes?

[Video]

[charcoalfeather]

[She mouths words, but nothing comes out.]

...What?

[Video]

[callmeryuzaki]

Concerning all I contribute, and all I give! Every inch of skin a succulent opportunity. I mean, I can try to be clearer if you're still confused...

[Video]

[charcoalfeather]

.....You're talking about what I think you're talking about, aren't you?

[Video]

[callmeryuzaki]

Tell me more about what you think.

[Video]

[charcoalfeather]

I'm pretty sure I don't want to.

[Video]

[callmeryuzaki]

But not totally sure? You're so indecisive.

[Video]

[charcoalfeather]

[All she can come up with is an "are you kidding me" look.]