raisetheearth | I could've spoken sooner than I should have [Shepherd's Haven][Closed]

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I could've spoken sooner than I should have [Shepherd's Haven][Closed]

Who: Lazarus Lawliet and Misa Amane
Where: Lazarus' house
When: Backdated to Wednesday, August 26, 2016
What: Misa walks in on a very easily misunderstood situation and needs to be brought up to speed
Warnings: Language?
Status: Closed, ongoing

To say that Lazarus is stressed is an understatement. Things have been strained almost to their breaking point since Tony's departure, and now he has to deal with a doppelganger who has not just vanished into obscurity, as he'd so very hoped was the case. His bacon-munching mug is back, thirty pounds of muscle heavier, and causing trouble, and he's only able to catch up on this business as fast as he is because Cesar contacted him. Them, but... it's Lazarus' private line that he's contacting now as they try to cobble together a makeshift plan to save a hopelessly lovestruck kid.

He doesn't think that the lines Cesar's suggesting will work. He doesn't think that the plan is viable. He doesn't think it's worth it to lie to Blaise, seeing it as something that could hurt their cause in the long run. Still, he stands in front of the small mirror in the bathroom, speaking softly as one rehearsing.

"If... you believe in true love, then ask him if he'll marry you. Insist. Having a happy family someday might involve children. Tell..."

He shakes his head, staring at his white, hollow-eyed face in the mirror. It doesn't sound convincing. It just sounds stilted, scared, and unnatural. He hunches his shoulders, remaining by the sink and continuing to text Cesar.

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Misa is not pleased to see that the doppelganger is alive and kicking, but she has enough sense not to engage him directly. If only other people had that much sense. She goes back and forth between keeping up with the arguments and trying to put it all from her mind. She wants nothing to do with the freak, why is that so hard?

Still, the familiar face does leave her wanting to get a few reassuring pokes at Lazarus in; the doppelganger will surely seem less like her boyfriend when she has the real thing in front of her.

"Lazarus?" she calls, peering around after letting herself in. She had expected to find him in the front room; maybe he isn't home after all? Whispering from the bathroom catches her attention, and she could swear she heard the word marry in there. Curiosity piqued, she walks over and raps her fist against the door. "Hun? You in there?"

Lazarus is already skittish today due to the circumstances under which Cesar contacted him. It's overwhelming and nerve-wracking to say the least, and with the bathroom fan on, he doesn't hear Misa come into his cabin until she's right at the door, knocking and asking about him.

"Oh... yes, I..." he calls back. He's in the middle of typing a message back to Cesar, and he mashes "send" out of habit rather than because he has something that's actually complete and coherent. He knows that given some of his known habits and tendencies it wouldn't be kind to make her wait, so he's sliding the door aside as quickly as he can, leaving his phone by the sink.

"Yes, Misa, do... you need something?"

His phone vibrates insistently on the sink, with the text Were you going to finish that? popping up onscreen.

Misa blinks, hand still in the air from knocking, a little caught off-guard by how fast he opened the door.

"No, I just... with it back, I wanted to see you..." she says, trailing off as his phone buzzes by the sink. "Do you need to get that?"

He closes his eyes in disgust, not at the sight of her, but at the mention of "it." He doesn't have to ask what "it" means, he knows all too well. "Ryuzaki" is a headache and a half, and might actually pose more of a threat than clownishly annoying people with innuendo and heavy-handed flirting.

"I see..."

He glances back toward the phone. He does need to take it, actually, especially when he pulls it closer and sees the message and who it's from. He makes no effort to conceal either from Misa, seeing no reason to feel guilty for texting the man.

"I mean... it can wait, but..." he says hesitantly. He wants to respond, and it's fairly clear; he lacks the social graces to see that it's probably better to be discreet about exes in front of current lovers, if not outright secretive.

Misa's eyes go toward the screen automatically as Lazarus pulls the phone over; she would never consider herself one of those girlfriends that snoops on their boyfriend's phone, but natural curiosity compels and it isn't as if he is trying to hide it.

ɹɐsǝƆ

Misa goes rigid as her brain puts together the upside-down letters. Lazarus is talking to Cesar? Since when? A thousand questions and unnamed worries fly through her mind as she stares down at the phone. Misa had been content believing that the man had dropped off the face of the earth after his break up with Lazarus, and she had been very content to let things stay that way.

Why did Lazarus have to let her see that? Why is he so antsy to get her to leave, to return to his conversation with his ex over spending time with his current girlfriend? How long since they reconnected?

"You're talking to Cesar," she states tensely, after several seconds of silence. It isn't a question, and it isn't quite an accusation, but the set of Misa's jaw and clear discomfort in her expression make the statement far more than a casual observation.

He seems surprised that she's looked, and more so that she paused so long before saying what she's found. He's never been good with reading expressions, but tones are better, and he can hear more in Misa's voice than he can see in the way her features arrange themselves.

"I apologize," he says. "It's rude to text when there's pressing business at hand to attend to. Let me ask him to stand by... this is important, but it can wait. There's clearly something on your mind."

He types a brief message back, pocketing his phone and then leaning in for a kiss.

Misa accepts the kiss passively, but does little to reciprocate. Her eyes are on his pocket when Lazarus pulls back.

"There's no... pressing business. What's so important? When did you two start talking? Where is he?" she demands in rapid succession.

The fact that she doesn't reciprocate the kiss isn't missed. It's certainly a problem. He draws back, brows furrowing in bewilderment.

Then the wheels start turning as Misa asks a series of telling questions. He swallows, doing his best to tackle them one by one and most importantly in an order that isn't unduly provocative.

"He messaged me," Lazarus explains uncertainly. "But he wasn't trying to reach me. He was trying to reach... him. The Doppelganger. Who seems to have drawn in a kid who is a little too smitten with him. We're trying to figure out what to do with the situation. Did you... you didn't think that it was a romantic conversation, did you? Here. You can see the texts."

Quickly, he's offering Misa his phone.

"I didn't- I don't need to see that, I trust you," Misa insists, pushing the phone back into his hands; she is curious about the conversation, but accepting Lazarus's offering now would make it seem as if she had no faith in him at all. "I'm just surprised that you're talking at all, I mean... I haven't heard from him since he left. You haven't either, right?"

Lazarus averts his eyes, lowering the phone once she's thoroughly rejected the offer to take a better look at the conversation. "I know... it's surprising. I didn't think he'd want to talk to me again, after..." he trails off, clearly his throat. Then he tries to continue in a more casual, less emotional vein.

"No... I haven't heard from him. Not before now. I don't even know where he is," he admits. "I think he feels some responsibility toward Ryuzaki's latest target, since he was in... well, something like a relationship with him before. Then, of course there's my obligation as the person who has the same echoes and appearance."

'After...'

Things did end pretty badly, didn't they? That's all the more reason not to feel threatened by this. Just talking again doesn't mean anything, no matter how hard it is to shake the feeling that she started as a rebound. Even if that's true, she is more than that now, right? Their relationship is... solid enough.

"What are you going to do?" Misa asks, hoping the plan does not involve any direct contact with Cesar. "I really don't want to see Ryuzaki, but... if you need any help, I'm here."

Lazarus takes a deep breath, turning back toward the sink and staring at the mirror and his own dark, overwhelmed, sunken eyes.

"This morning, I woke up thinking that I was going to feed and muck out the animal pens with Luca, and then maybe go to town to look for a new pair of work pants and bring some new books back. That was going to be it. I was actually kind of looking forward to it. Now... I guess I have to figure something out. Blaise will get hurt one way or another, and unfortunately I'm not seeing any immediate ways to avoid it without doing more harm than good. Ryuzaki's very manipulative when he wants to be."

Misa is quiet for a moment, then comes up behind him to wrap her arms around his midsection.

"You've very sweet," she says simply. "Would it help at all if I talked to Blaise?"

He glances back toward her at the kind compliment. Sweet? She thinks so? That's something he can handle, especially since it sounds so genuine.

"It might..." he says, though he sounds more than a touch doubtful. "I worry that smitten teenagers are difficult to sway with reason. He's probably not going to listen to someone telling him his knight in shining armor's actually a sex-crazed psychopath."

"You're the one who's always trying to use reason," Misa says, a touch of amusement in her voice. "I'm good with those human emotions, remember?"

"I'm good with human emotions, too..." Lazarus insists, even while realizing that it sounds ridiculous. "I mean well, Misa. I just mean well and it blows up in my face so much. Have you ever been there? Have you ever had a crush on someone who definitely wasn't good for you?"

"You try very hard," Misa acknowledges, giving him a squeeze. "And you do a lot of good."

She mulls over his question for several seconds. Light Yagami comes to mind more than anyone from her actual life, but she certainly isn't going to bring that up.

"I dated a boy who cheated on me, once. And... I've had a crush on someone who wasn't available. I think I can handle this."

He's mildly embarrassed by how neurotically insecure he sounds in this situation, but Misa, to her credit, isn't emasculating him over it. She's actually being helpful and answering his question and making him feel significantly better about opening up.

"Who would cheat on you?" he asks, sounding mystified.

That gets a laugh out of her. She lets go of his midsection, circling around to his side.

"Some jerk back in middle school. I barely remember him."

"Mm... I'm glad you recovered."

There's an awkward pause in which he reaches for his phone, types a quick message, and then slips it in his pocket.

"Maybe Blaise can benefit from hearing what you have to say, then, if you think you can say it in a way he'd actually listen to. I don't think I can... and Cesar actually doesn't either."

Misa's eyes linger on the phone, but she can't see what he's typing and doesn't strain to. She recovered from that, yes, but the thought of Lazarus cheating on her is hard to dismiss entirely no matter how shocked he seemed by the idea that anyone would.

"I'm a lot different from you two. Besides," she adds with a tight smile, "My other was an actor."

He certainly seems confused and scattered enough to do something that counts as cheating without even realizing it... but to be fair, that's always been somewhat true for Lazarus.

He nods forlornly, as if thinking about just how much he does have in common with Cesar. "Acting experience would certainly help, but... I don't know. I think that in this case some genuine honesty and approachability would help even more."

"I can do that too," she assures him. She reaches up to cup her hand against his cheek, trying to pull his attention away from the mirror. "Don't worry so much. Misa is on the case."

Her attempt is a successful one. He looks toward her and his eyes stay there, taking in her sweet, girlish features and her big, gentle eyes.

"I know you can do it. I'm so grateful that I know you."

Misa is a little taken aback by the seriousness of that compliment, but once recovered she smiles warmly, clearly touched. She rises up on her tip-toes for a lingering kiss.

He kisses her back, leaning down to compensate for the height difference between them. Sometimes, he manages to get human emotion right. Very rarely, but when he does it can be touching.

"I think... damn it. I have to figure out what else is going on with my stupid doppelganger, but can I stop by your place in a little while? Once it's sorted and I can think about something more pleasant..."

"Yes, do that," Misa agrees, giving him a quick hug. "I'll talk to Blaise. Send me his number, and then we can relax together later."

Her cheerfulness heartens him. He leans in for another kiss, nodding and sighing as he reaches for his phone again and shuffles toward his bed to lie facedown and continue to text Cesar.

Misa returns to kiss, though her spirits do sink a little when he goes to lie down and continue texting.

"Maybe... Keep it to business, with Cesar?"

"Of course," he says, seeming surprised that she would even feel the need to tell him that. "Please try not to worry so much about this... I'd be worried if it was any Numbered in this situation, Misa."

"Yeah, I know," she mutters, turning to leave.

But it isn't any Numbered. It's Cesar. And that makes a difference whether Lazarus wants to admit it or not.

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I could've spoken sooner than I should have [Shepherd's Haven][Closed]

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