[For better or worse, the startled reactions aren't ones that Lazarus can control. If he could, he would be, he's trying incredibly hard to ensure that he can remain as solemnly calm and unflappable as Richard in this situation. But he's faced ones like it too many times now; it started coming unraveled during the rations debacle, and it's fraying in earnest now. As much as he wants to, he can no longer see Tony as someone safe who will protect him above all other thoughts, feelings and urges.
It might be correct, and it might not, but it feels innate. He does his best to ignore Tony's waspish comments about the unease that he is the direct cause of, shooting Richard an exasperated look when he's chastised for his reaction. Any day now I'll get that echo that makes me super strong and lightning fast, but guess what, it hasn't happened yet!
He listens to Richard say things that are, in so many words, things Lazarus has said to Tony in attempts to assuage his endless insecurities and doubts. He's in an awkward place, where he feels like his presence on the roof is officially superfluous and perhaps even unwelcome, and though the stubborn streak in him wants to stay and try to continue to talk sense into Tony, another part of him is nudging him back toward the way he got up here in the first place.
In his heart, he knows that he wants to not feel like prey after moving to New Zealand to be safe, and if Tony resists his help, there actually might not be anything he can do for him anymore. He doesn't leave quite yet but he turns his back, lighting up a cigarette to steady his nerves as much as possible.]
[Action]
It might be correct, and it might not, but it feels innate. He does his best to ignore Tony's waspish comments about the unease that he is the direct cause of, shooting Richard an exasperated look when he's chastised for his reaction. Any day now I'll get that echo that makes me super strong and lightning fast, but guess what, it hasn't happened yet!
He listens to Richard say things that are, in so many words, things Lazarus has said to Tony in attempts to assuage his endless insecurities and doubts. He's in an awkward place, where he feels like his presence on the roof is officially superfluous and perhaps even unwelcome, and though the stubborn streak in him wants to stay and try to continue to talk sense into Tony, another part of him is nudging him back toward the way he got up here in the first place.
In his heart, he knows that he wants to not feel like prey after moving to New Zealand to be safe, and if Tony resists his help, there actually might not be anything he can do for him anymore. He doesn't leave quite yet but he turns his back, lighting up a cigarette to steady his nerves as much as possible.]