raisetheearth | Entry #A-1: "A" [Video/Action] [Shepherd's Haven]

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Entry #A-1: "A" [Video/Action] [Shepherd's Haven]

[Lazarus checks in looking thoroughly displeased. He's standing in the largest building in Shepherd's Haven, most commonly used for forums and meetings. Today, he's surrounded by fabulous, artistic and delectable patries and sweets. Some are on the tables, set out as if for a banquet, but others are on the floor or in odd, unexected places, like on chairs and sticking to the walls.]

It's the one-year anniversary of our move to Shepherd's Haven. I was going to tell you that in spite of the slime, you're all still welcome to come celebrate and eat some of the food prepared for the occasion in the town hall. You know, in a valiant effort to maintain some semblance of community and normalcy, and to reject sensationalist panic and obsession.

[A green blob drops onto his shoulder. He brushes it off with clear distaste, but from the time he touches it to the time it lands on the floor, it transforms into a platter of cream puffs that land with a resounding clatter.]

...disregard that. If you do decide to come, don't eat anything until you confirm with me that it isn't slime. Right now, that's everything over here.

[He turns the feed over so it's in view of a far less enticing display of healthier and plainer options. Much of it was probably canned or frozen previously.]

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It can't have escaped you that she's very secretive about some of the echoes she's received. I wonder if this is like that.

No, I've certainly noticed. [That secrecy had started just after the kappa had awakened in Tokyo. At least so far as Nathan knows.]

We can't rule out the possibility. [He does have to wonder how bad they are that she's hiding them.]

She has lied about it on at least one occasion. She said that she'd gotten a tattoo back from an echo... the one she was behaving strangely about that day in Tokyo.

I've personally ascertained since that no such tattoo exists.

She had been very uncomfortable that day. [He'd managed to trigger an uncomfortable Echo from her himself then. And then he'd promised not to bring it up later because it had upset her so much and he wanted to make sure he'd still been welcome at the apartment.]

How did you ascertain that? [Nathan, honey. You have no idea what you've just asked.]

[Lazarus seems surprised by the question.]

I... looked, and it wasn't there.

[How else does a detective ascertain things? Come on Nathan, get with it.]

[His head tilts marginally at the hesitance in that answer. That's a bit strange, considering how easily they'd (finally) been conversing.

[He pauses a moment, thinking back to that conversation over a year ago. What about that would make Lazarus hesitant to discuss it? He hadn't been privy to any of the details of the conversation his arrival had interrupted, but evidently it had concerned the tattoo that Misa has lied about, and she'd called Lazarus a pervert that day . . .

[... Oh.

[He averts his eyes, clears his throat uncomfortably.] Right. Of course. So the question remains as to what she really got that day.

[He will gladly steer off the road he'd inadvertently stumbled upon. None of his business.]

[Even though Nathan is an adult, turning 20 in a month, it can be easy to forget his actual age. Though Lazarus doesn't condescend to him as a rule, there are certain topics that feel vaguely taboo. Going into detail about adult relationships is one of them, and it's obvious that Nathan feels the same way when he clears his throat and flings his gaze elsewhere.

They differ in that Lazarus has an interest in adult sexual relationships and pursues them, and maybe that's what really makes this uncomfortable when they are supposed to essentially be different versions of the same person where they're from, according to some of their uncannier echoes.]

Of... course.

[Meaningful stare. Did Nathan get it, understand it? Almost certainly. No real reason to dwell.]

It occurred to me that she might have gotten it removed. She disapproves of tattoos, mine included, but there wasn't evidence of that either upon further examination in different lighting. It looked and felt as smooth as if it had never been inked.

[Normally, Nathan finds it embarrassing and occasionally even irritating to be treated as younger than he is. It happens often enough when he has to go out. He's small, smooth-faced, and despite his usual monotone even his voice sounds young. And that is all without his Echoed-back fixation with toys.

[But this topic? He's perfectly okay with not discussing it. He isn't entirely disinterested in such matters, but nor is he interested enough to ever actually pursue anything of the sort. And he is more than content to remain ignorant of any details here. Even without their Others factored in, they're as good as family, and so it's . . . awkward.]

It has to be something else, then.

[Unfortunately, where Lazarus is, awkwardness has a tendency to follow. He's aware that Nathan's uncomfortable; that much, he can discern. But when it comes to avoiding the subject, the accompanying thought, effort and fixation actually might make it worse.]

Well, that goes without saying...

[He's supposed to toss off an astounding deduction right now, isn't he? It seems like a good place for one.]

She was romantically involved with the person my Other suspected of being Kira. If I had to guess... I'd put my money on something that was connected to him, less as her lover and more as... an accomplice. You cover for people you love, right? Or... would?

[Lazarus has no right to sound so uncertain; he knows very well what Nathan did to help him when he was struggling some months ago, and just how much covering actually went on. But he's using "love" in a different sense here.]

[That is indeed a problem even for people who don't have obsessive personalities. The more one focuses upon trying not to think about something, the more difficult it is to actually do.

[Nevertheless, he's still trying to focus on the conversation at hand. Much more comfortable. Hopefully will keep out any mental images he would rather not have.]

People do that. [Different sense of the word or not, the desire to protect such a person is still the same, isn't it? He absorbs this information, thinks on it.] Concocting a story about the Echo being something physical would not make sense if it were a memory; a memory would be easier to lie about. If there was no visible physical change . . .

[Trailing off for just a second, here. No, get out of his head, mental image of how that was determined. Okay. Gone.] Then that would leave an object as the remaining possibility.

An object she was hiding under her clothes.

[Lazarus averts his eyes, feeling fairly confident with that conclusion. It would have to be small and flat enough to fit against her skin.]

She's a valuable and contributing member to this community. I don't want to take drastic measures at this point or go so far as to accuse her, but... I do want to know what she got back, in case she still has it. It must be important.

[He certainly catches that reaction, the discomfort inherent in it. With a hint of guilt:] We don't know anything for certain; we should try not to jump to conclusions if we can avoid it.

[Nathan doesn't want to make accusations, either. Occasional bouts of being judgemental or patronizing aside, Misa is a nice person overall and he would much rather not think ill of her. Even so:] I cannot imagine hiding it if it weren't important.

Yes, of course. I think that I can pose it in such a way that it comes from a place of concern rather than one of suspicion.

[He realizes how manipulative that sounds after he's said it and it seems to disquiet him.]

...not that that would be a lie, or anything. I am concerned.

[It is a little disquieting, too much like their Others. "I'm not your tool to solve a puzzle!"

[His hand moves up briefly, fingers just short of curling into his hair before he remembers that his hand is messy from cleaning up the slime-pastry. He forces it back down, denying himself the soothing gesture for now.] Right.

[... They need to get off the topic of Misa now, don't they? He's got to think of something this time.] ... Were any of these pastries the actual Echo you received? None of the toys are.

[This may still wind up being related, for all he knows. But it's better, isn't it?]

[Very much so. The way Lazarus avoids Nathan's eyes and stares at the ground should communicate as much. He tries to avoid this, but it breaks through sometimes, a combination of the cynical person who started receiving echoes over two years ago and the one who died and inflicted his soul's sinister story on that poor man.]

The pastries...? It's hard to tell, but I think it might be the especially pretty strawberry shortcake, with three tiers. I don't want to take any chances with it, but I didn't get anything else back. But... if you're sure it's not the toys, it's means you're sure what it is, for yourself.

Edited 2015-08-11 01:22 (UTC)

[It makes Nathan wonder if he hasn't indulged in it before, during his childhood. To manuever himself out of situations that scared him. Even now, he can theoretically see how it would be possible to use the people around him. He's timid, physically fragile, had a bad past, people want to protect him . . .

[But the thought is repellent, disgusting, makes him feel vaguely ill. He doesn't want to think about that anymore.]

I got a memory, unrelated to the toys. [A subtle change in his voice to indicate that he is quoting the memory exactly:] "It is nice to meet the second L."

[Lazarus blinks. It elicits nothing on his part; the "second L" means no more to him than it did a few moments ago, aside from the general notion that his Other had successors.]

It's you, that was being spoken of? "The second L?" As L's successor, that would make sense, wouldn't it?

[He shakes his head.] No. Near said it.

[Which is the confusing part. He knows that he eventually took on L's name; he'd gotten an Echo to that effect over the past year. But this one effectively says that there had been someone else before him.]

[It's clearly not an answer that Lazarus expects, and his brows raise quickly in response to the statement.]

Oh, I... see. Was there anything else? Or just those words? Was there another successor we're not aware of you could have been addressing? What was the tone of the exchange?

[He realizes it's probably no good asking Near about things like tone.]

Edited 2015-08-11 03:15 (UTC)

I only have those words. The tone . . . there wasn't one. [Somebody else might have been bothered by hearing their own voice so detached of emotion, but it is something not uncommon for Nathan to do himself. When he gets too overwhelmed, he instinctively falls back on that affect.] I don't know who he was speaking to.

[No tone, more than usual given Nathan's typical monotone? That's both difficult and strange to think of, and more than a little bit disconcerting. Lazarus knows that L was callous and unemotional, but just as Nathan is an extreme version of certain aspects of Lazarus, it seems that Near was like L that way as well.]

I'm sorry now for getting back a cake. How useless when there are so many questions we're still so far from answering.

[Nathan has thoughts on that matter, has had them ever since he'd realized his sudden interest in toys had been cause by an Echo. The toys help calm him when he is stressed, and some part of him wonders if it might have been the same for Near. But he could just as easily have been projecting, hoping that perhaps Near hadn't been quite so callous as he seemed.

[He just cannot tell.]

Getting such small pieces is rather frustrating.

[What Nathan says borders on stating the obvious, but Lazarus doesn't comment on it. How can he when it's exactly what he's feeling stated concisely enough to feel both comforting and redundant?]

I'm almost to 50, you know. The more pieces I get back, the bigger the puzzle turns out to be after all.

This was my . . . twentieth, and it manages to feel like relatively little.

[There is still so much about all of this that he does not understand. He gets such tiny pieces all the time, in combination with things that are intensely personal and hardly seem to offer insight into the bigger picture.] Near did take on L's name eventually; I have an Echo that confirms this. But it seems that it was not immediately following L's death.

We know that L died, likely before he thought he would.

[No one thinks that they're going to die young unless they've committed to doing it at their own hand. Seven years ago now, Lazarus was at that point, and he's been at the opposite extreme a couple times since, faced with the likely possibility of his death and wanting desperately to live. Was his Other somewhere in between those extremes?]

Is it possible that Near wasn't ready at this point, that he was too young? Or that there was someone who had seniority and was more qualified? Even though from everything we've remembered, it seems like he was the front runner, doesn't it?

Edited 2015-08-12 14:35 (UTC)