raisetheearth | [Video]

"Garth Brooks - The Thunder Rolls (With Lyrics And Pics)" (Watch on YouTube)

[He appears onscreen wearing a paramedic's uniform, identical to the one Lazarus got back from his memory echo. His surroundings are significantly less seedy than the motel he's reported from in the past; they actually look like they might be luxurious.]

For those of us in the northern hemisphere, it's fall, and that means it's a season for change. With so many people getting job offers and new and exciting opportunities, I've decided to access my generosity again and help you all out with your resumes. I'm just that nice.

Sometimes you just need a little help to figure out what your best and worst qualities are. So, let me help you out~

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Does it matter if I'm having fun?

I see. Purposeless entertainment, then? How disappointing.

Who said it was purposeless? I'm having fun. You should try it sometime.

You and I share a different view on what constitutes 'fun'.

[He also wouldn't know what fun is so there's that too.]

Yeah.

I have one, for starters.

Good for you.

It's always good for me.

Is it good for you?

Irrelevant.

So relevant.

Tug it off, why don't you? You'll feel better.

I feel as though you require another lesson in containing your vulgarity. For all the good it won't do.

Maybe you need a lesson. It's more fun with a friend~

Disgusting. Not a surprise, coming from you.

A lot of surprises come from me. If you gave it a chance maybe we could share one sometime.

I have no desire to partake in your brand of filth.

Don't you have anything better to do?

What if I said pleeeeaaaase~

I could go check, but again, I find this fun.

It would bring you one step closer to the day I bore of your antics and carve out your throat.

Until then, entertain me. Make one for the whimpering pup too afraid to respond to you. I am certain he is dying for the help.

Tell me more about what you're going to shove violently into my throat, I like it~

Aid me in calling out the dog, and I may play your little game.

May.

Oh, I get what you're doing. You want me to do your dirty work for you at a fraction of the price it's really worth. I've never seen that done before.

You are the master of that tactic, are you not? Or have you forgotten the broken ribs already?

Either way, I have my own methods for drawing him out. I just thought I'd let you in on the "fun" before I start the main event.

You do like fun. Don't you?

Your ear for sarcasm is a little stopped up, isn't it? Maybe get a doctor to dig out the wax.

I love fun, but when someone else is ordering me around, admittedly it loses its luster. It wasn't my idea. That's too obvious. Up your game and then maybe I'll play it with you.

For now, you'll have to settle for mine, or none. So, go wank off.

I see. You believe yourself in a position to give orders, but not take them.

I will remember this. Dear. Friend.

I take orders. Just not from you. Don't forget it!

You will bleed all the same. In time.

Save it for the teenager wondering when she'll get her first period.

[Audio]

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