numberedshepherd: "Queer" (You're nothing special here)
Lazarus Lawliet ([personal profile] numberedshepherd) wrote in [community profile] raisetheearth 2015-09-10 10:56 pm (UTC)

Lazarus seems like he doesn't quite understand or agree with the description of his words as "deep," but at any rate, it seems to be something that Jacob takes some comfort in. He therefore lets it slide without argument, pondering whether or not he's actually capable of a sentiment approaching "sweet."

"I've been Numbered since... well, it'd be almost three years now," he says quietly. "Actively, anyway. I got my first pulse when I was half my current age, but then there was a dry spell of about 12 years. I'm not sure how to explain that, as it's atypical, but... no one's experience is exactly the same." It's a good way to prattle on and avoid the real question, but that has its limits.

"It's to do with people and not understanding them as well as I think I do, or wish I did," he admits. "But a lot of us aren't being particularly active. By seeking out a life of peace, we're resting on our laurels and foregoing great deeds for safety, isolation, and... admittedly, some boredom. I don't mind leading when no one else is stepping up, but when it comes to it, I don't know if my role in this community feels right."

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