Micah nods, pulling the zipper down the front of his black leather motorcycle jacket. "That makes sense. I don't think anyone likes feeling overshadowed by their past, even if it was an entirely different life. People like to think of themselves as self-determining entities." He leans forward in the chair, elbows propped on his knees, and glances first sideways at Nathan, then back to Lazarus. He's already experienced what Lazarus said - powerful feelings for the other man, brought inexplicably by the memory of meeting his Other. L. And the feeling was one of not only deep respect, but awe, like hearing the story he was told was a rare and precious gift, like L was the single most important thing in the life of Micah's Other.
"Look, I gotta level with you guys." Micah takes a deep breath and slowly exhales. "From what you're saying now, and what you've said before, I get this feeling like you're holding back on me. Like maybe you're afraid of me or something? I mean, I know I've got a certain way about me." A tough guy, don't-fuck-with-me exterior; Micah is aware of it because it was, for the most part, consciously cultivated. Survival on the streets meant never allowing room for weakness to show, and to some extent, it was true of his life before he spent time being homeless. The addition of the scar on his face certainly didn't help create an air of approachability, either.
Micah chews at his bottom lip for another second before continuing. "It's like you're expecting that I'm not going to get along with Nathan here. And that's not what most people usually expect; they'd have the opposite assumption, that people will automatically get along and be friendly with each other unless proven otherwise." Micah doesn't necessarily include himself in that population. He knows too well the kind of cruelty humans are capable of inflicting on each other, and he tends not to trust people until they've earned it, until they've proven that they are trustworthy. "And it just seems like you're putting an awful lot of emphasis on that one thing. I mean, hell, you yourself even said, that first time you talked to me, that you wanted you and me to be on good terms in this life." Micah gestures to Lazarus as he says this. "That kind of implies that we weren't on good terms before." He shrugs. "So lay it on me. If I'm supposed to be working with you guys, I think I need to not be kept in the dark."
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"Look, I gotta level with you guys." Micah takes a deep breath and slowly exhales. "From what you're saying now, and what you've said before, I get this feeling like you're holding back on me. Like maybe you're afraid of me or something? I mean, I know I've got a certain way about me." A tough guy, don't-fuck-with-me exterior; Micah is aware of it because it was, for the most part, consciously cultivated. Survival on the streets meant never allowing room for weakness to show, and to some extent, it was true of his life before he spent time being homeless. The addition of the scar on his face certainly didn't help create an air of approachability, either.
Micah chews at his bottom lip for another second before continuing. "It's like you're expecting that I'm not going to get along with Nathan here. And that's not what most people usually expect; they'd have the opposite assumption, that people will automatically get along and be friendly with each other unless proven otherwise." Micah doesn't necessarily include himself in that population. He knows too well the kind of cruelty humans are capable of inflicting on each other, and he tends not to trust people until they've earned it, until they've proven that they are trustworthy. "And it just seems like you're putting an awful lot of emphasis on that one thing. I mean, hell, you yourself even said, that first time you talked to me, that you wanted you and me to be on good terms in this life." Micah gestures to Lazarus as he says this. "That kind of implies that we weren't on good terms before." He shrugs. "So lay it on me. If I'm supposed to be working with you guys, I think I need to not be kept in the dark."