The laughter hasn't improved Lazarus' mood, because at the heart of the matter, it isn't funny. It takes a lot just to feel like it's tolerable, some days. Even though he's the one who ultimately broke up with Cesar, a significant part of him still misses being with him, especially when he is drinking.

"You... should expect these, I'm sure. Yes. even if your other was younger than mine, and hadn't the time to learn everything..."

His hand finds a stool, and he pulls himself up on it so he can lean forward on the round cocktail table. It's better than being unsteady on his feet.

"I sent him so many texts. I don't know what I was thinking. I wanted him to know and then I didn't. But there were so many things he didn't know."