[Lazarus stiffens as though he's been struck. He drops his pen, and his hands flatten against the table's surface as he stares straight ahead. He realizes that he's done something terrible even as he struggles to figure out just what it was. Somehow, he managed to cause damage where he'd never intended to, where he was in fact actively working to defend against it from a different source.]

I'm... I'm sorry. You're right, Nathan, please... accept my apologies.

[He covers his mouth with his hand for a moment, as if preparing for something else to slip out and shatter another house of cards.]

When I was captured and held prisoner with Tony, I really... thought we were both going to die. I put a lot of pressure on him to be strong, to keep quiet to protect everyone, to be a man before he was ready. I worry all the time that it broke him. That he's not been the same since and it's part of the reason he left. I swore I'd never do that to you, you know... and now I've gone and done something just as bad.