I know this I'm not stupid but the difference between what I know and what I think against my own will is kinda broad right now.

I'm not a dog. [So he hates this so much.] The last time... the last time I felt at all sane or even alive was during the invasion when I was fighting. But I can't... I can't get that back.

[And he feels scared and hollow and angry all the time because of it.]